Bad Men Will Get In

This post was inspired by original text from Thomas Jefferson, dated March 24, 1801.

It’s been translated into the voice of a TikTok influencer for an audience with a 5th grade reading level.

“Hey fam, listen up! So, like, there are big shots out there.

They’re, like, totally into their own ego.

It’s a major issue trying to get them to be teaming players.

We gotta be chill about it, yo.

Folks on one side: they might take their sweet time to get on board ‘cuz of those church leaders.

These bros are all about mixing church and government. But honestly, they’re just trying to make fetch happen. With the level of science we’ve got going on now, they need to stop making fetch happen.

Like, imagine if we were all, “Hey, let’s stick to what our ancestors thought, and science is like, totally dangerous.”

Nah fam, we’re smarter than that!

I think they’ll come around. They’ll realize that instead of waiting it out, they should embrace the cool freedom and science vibes of our country.

Get this, the Christian religion?

When you strip away all the extra stuff they’ve added, and go back to what the cool founder meant, it’s, like, the friendliest religion for freedom, science, and letting our imagination run wild.